Three-fold Approach to Peace

Dr. Susan Hilton, Medical Director for Rising Star Outreach, wrote the following to me:

"To create or share peace you need to have plenty of it. So what are the methods you adopt to be filled with peace and how will others benefit? This is not an official or even professional query but merely a personal one."

My response:

The questions you ask are very pertinent, and I like questions that make me think and feel more deeply. I will try to briefly answer how I am filled with peace and how others will benefit, realizing that I could add lots more in my own musings!

I agree that I need to have plenty of peace to create or share it—because how can I give something I don't have? However, I also believe that I don't have to be perfect or "fully arrived" in order to benefit or help others, nor do I claim to be The Peacegiver. A motto I have adopted is "Learn it, live it, share it." This is the pattern by which I can effectively share peace in whatever way I can. I am still learning much about making peace, I know more than I implement, and I share even less than I know and do. Being on the path myself, though, I can still have a positive impact for others along the way.

I take a holistic approach to peacebuilding: spiritual, intellectual and physical. Being a religious and spiritual person, I seek peace from God and believe that it is His gift to us when we are living our lives in harmony with His will. I am not proselyting in my peacebuilding efforts, though I am happy to respectfully share my beliefs with others who are interested. My faith undergirds my actions, and I believe it's important to acknowledge hidden and open assumptions and beliefs.

My approach to the intellectual aspects of peacemaking comes particularly from two methods of teaching peacebuilding: the Arbinger Institute and Nonviolent Communication by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. It is from these two approaches that I have taken the material I've used for the workshops I helped facilitate in Uganda and a little bit in the U.S., and which helps me on a practical daily basis. The material is applicable to oneself, relationships with any individual and even between groups of people and nations. Arbinger teaches how to see people as people (having needs, feelings and values as valid as my own), and not as objects (in which I objectify, villify or make irrelevant that person). Arbinger also helps us to see where we deceive ourselves by denying the senses we have to do something for another person, thus self-justifying our behavior and adopting a "heart at war" that is resistant to the other person's humanity. www.arbinger.com

Nonviolent Communication teaches that we must listen for the needs and feelings in our interactions with others, and gives us language for how to communicate what we've heard and sensed from others and within ourselves. It is a very practical and effective approach, though it may be awkward at first while implementing. www.cnvc.org

Lastly, on the physical level, I practice massage therapy to promote my own and others' peace. However, I support all forms of bodywork and movement that help us to be healthier and happier, such as yoga, dance, acupuncture, even creating art and music. Massage is certainly not the only pathway to peace but it is an effective one. Massage relieves stress and creates positive feelings—so when we are feeling better in our bodies, we are more likely to treat ourselves and others better.

Hope this answers your question. Thanks for asking. It helped me clarify my practice.